More than 40 years since the widespread killings that followed the September 30 Movement in 1965, the tragedy remains an open wound for the victims.
Poet Moe'inah, now 80, lost her husband and sister during the killings, and her freedom of expression for several years afterward when she was imprisoned.
"The time has come for this nation to change and become better," Poet told The Jakarta Post recently.
In the community of Pakisrejo village in Blitar regency, Poet is a legend. Bu Put, as she is known there, knows every elderly resident who has a shadowy political history.
"Many people still come to my house to discuss things, including the future of Indonesia as a country," she said.
Bu Put, who now lives alone, was a witness to a dark chapter in Indonesia's history. At that time, Bu Put was the head of section II of the Indonesian Women's Movement (Gerwani) in Blitar regency.
Gerwani was the women's organization linked to the Indonesian Communist Party (PKI), which was held responsible for the 1965 attempted coup.
"From my perspective it wasn't like that, because I knew at that time that Gerwani didn't do all the things we were accused of doing," Bu Put said.
Bu Put's involvement in politics began with her father, Haji Mansyur, the leader of the political organization Sarekat Islam (SI; the Islamic League, an early nationalist organization active in the 1910s and 1920s), which struggled against the Dutch and Japanese.
She did not meet her father until she was six years old, because he had been imprisoned by the Dutch for his political activities around the time of her birth.
"My father's activities were to struggle for society," she said, adding that his political enthusiasm rubbed off on her.
In later years, the Japanese arrested her father and confiscated all family property. Young Poet, at that time a teenager, was unable to continue her education.
"My father wasn't alone. Almost every man in this village was arrested by the Japanese soldiers," she recalled.
In 1946, Bu Put joined the Indonesian Socialist Youth (Pesindo) party, where she held a position in the information department for Blitar regency.
Not long after taking the position, she met Subandi Hadisumarto, a member of the Indonesian National Forces (TNI) from Mojokerto, which at the time was training as a unit with Pesindo.
The two were married in 1947, and Bu Put joined the Indonesian Women's Movement (Gerwis), the pioneer organization of Gerwani.
Bu Put held a high position in Gerwani. Her husband resigned from the TNI and joined the PKI, where he became head of the Blitar branch.
Their political life ended after the events of 1965. News of the killings of six generals triggered the campaign to arrest members of the PKI and their supporters, forcing Bu Put and her husband to flee. They were separated in the confusion.
Bu Put ran away to Malang, then to Yogyakarta and Jakarta, while Subandi built up the troops in South Blitar.
"I left my six children with my sister in her house. I was pregnant and on the run," said the mother of seven.
In Yogyakarta, Bu Put was arrested and held for three months. After her release, she fled to Jakarta, where she gave birth to her last child.
Three years later, she returned to South Blitar.
"When TNI troops came by I hid in the caves," she said.
Bu Put's fugitive life ended when, together with others on the run, she was attacked by TNI troops in Gayas Cave, one of the caves in South Blitar.
"I refused to run, I was too tired ... A TNI soldier entered the cave and guided me out. I was arrested."
She was then imprisoned for 10 years, without being charged or taken to court; she was released in 1978. In prison Bu Put maintained her political activities, holding discussions with other prisoners.
"Luckily, the prison wardens knew me and treated me well," she said.
Her release from prison did not mean freedom for the former tapol (political prisoner). Even today, she still experiences discrimination.
A similar fate befell her seven children: They were prohibited from going to school.
The most difficult thing to come to terms with, she said, was not knowing the fate of her husband and her sister. There was a great possibility that the two had been killed.
"My house was always watched by people I didn't know ... Every time we held a party there was always a guest who came without being invited," she recalled.
Things began to change, she said, when Abdurrahman Wahid, better known as Gus Dur, became president and allowed tapol who had managed to flee overseas to returned to the country.
The ex-tapol set up the Research Institute for Victims of the 1965 Incident (LPKP), which went on to produce books and publish Gema magazine.
"LPKP is like an institution for the victims from all over Indonesia, including Blitar," Bu Put said.
She added there were around 100 victims in South Blitar who survived the tragedy of 1965. These survivors continue to hold discussions and are involved in activities of the Reconciliation and Truth Commission, which was formed to discuss the issues faced by the victims and survivors.
"Once again, this hasn't been an easy thing. Many of us were taunted by those in society who accepted the New Order government's (anti-PKI) propaganda," Bu Put said.
"For me, even though I lost my husband, my relatives and my friends in the same struggle, I praise my seven children for being good citizens and for living properly."